Am I awake
or am I dreaming?
Reality and nightmare blur as one.
in the shadows
of the torments that afflict me so.
my emotions retreat
to the deepest recesses of my heart.
Unseen Chains,
they drag me to the point of no return.
No where to run,
no where to hide.
The Voices,
they taunt me with lies.
“You can never be free.”
“No reason to live.”
“Death is your only way of escape.”
Am I awake,
or am I dreaming?
I can’t tell the difference any more.
Will this nightmare ever end?
Despair screams from within.
Emptiness gorges itself on my decaying soul.
It feasts like a ravenous beast.
The Voices,
they taunt me with lies.
“You can never be free.”
No reason to live.”
“Death is your only way of escape.”
Is this the end of my life
or just the beginning?
Will there ever be rest for me,
other than in the icy embrace of death?


Who is that in the distance,
among the shadows
with his hands reaching out to me?
He seems familiar to me,
yet I don’t know him.
Am I awake,
or am I dreaming?
I still can’t tell the difference.
How long has he been there,
Is he another apparition
come to torment my soul,
just like all the others in my nightmare of a life?
What do I care,
nothing matters anymore.
why do you elude me?
My eyes focus,
I see his face clearly.
Are those tears running down his face?
I can’t be awake,
I must be dreaming.
He still reaches out to me.
Through the tempest of voices in my head,
a still small whisper reaches my ear.
“Take his hand, don’t be afraid.”
I reach out to him,
suddenly he is near.
Blood flows from open wounds on his hands.
His tear streaked face is radiant with unfathomable peace
that my soul thirstily drinks in.
He softly speaks,
the voices fall silent.
“I’ve been waiting for you.
Take my hands and let my blood cover you.”
I take hold of his hands,
his blood washes over me,
then penetrates to the deepest part of my soul.
The Shadows,
they fade away.
The Torments,
they turn to dust.
The Voices,
they never return.
The Numbing Emptiness,
is replaced with unimaginable peace.
it screams no more.
I am left alone,
surrounded by light,
being held in the arms of him
who’s blood that now covers me.


As I feel the glorious warmth
of your blood covering me,
I am filled with sensations
that are foreign to me,
they have eluded me all of my life.
Never have I felt such peace and joy
as I do right now
as I feel your blood covering me.
All the guilt, shame and regrets.
All the cares and worries,
all the torments and agonies of my nightmare
fade away into the sea of forgetfulness.
My mind is at ease,
and my heart is at rest.
The emptiness that ate away at my heart and soul
like a ravenous beast is gone.
What is this blood,
that it can do all these things to me?


Lying in bed,
I open my eyes.
The nightmare is past.
I feel strangely different.
I am whole and complete.
Was it just a dream?
I look in the mirror.
I see the scars and the fresh cuts.
They remind me of the reality of my nightmare
No, it was not a dream.
It was real.
The scares will always remind me
of the pain that I no longer feel.
The smile on my face,
I cannot erase.
I continue to feel the warmth
of his blood covering me.
I can now face my imperfect life,
for I am covered in his blood
and he is on the inside of me.
I am at peace with myself.


Author:  Blood God Servant